Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Entry from September 9/20/07

Today was the toughest day yet. Today we went to visit and pray with the sick children at the government hospital.
We first went to the babies room. Fortunately all their mothers were there caring for them, but many had been there for months. Many of them have pneumonia and both mothers and children were fatigued by the long hospital visit. I felt God pulling on my to pray with them and talk with them. This was really pushing me out of my shell. I tried not to at first, but couldn't ignore the responsibility. I prayed for four babies and their moms by myself. I'm glad I could do this small thing for them.
Then this hospital visit got exponentially harder as we went down to the very last room- the abandoned baby room. One baby was only seven days old and was found in a dumpster! Another had been there fore a month or so. (She was so chubby and cute! :) )
There were two boys in cribs who seemed somewhat mentally disabled. This one boy was so happy for attention. He kept giving me thumbs up, high-fives, and he always smiled. His smile was so beautiful, regardless of the fact that almost all his teeth were rotten. He also had very crooked pinkies. I kept giving him stickers and he kept on smiling.
There were also three other boys in the room. (I wish I could describe for you this place. It is certainly not the children's wing in a U.S. hospital. Picture a movie with a scene from a mid-centruy mental institute, from the bland, dreary atmosphere, blank walls, white metal bed posts, and scratchy gray blankets complete with holes.) The one in the middle bed was slightly shy but responded to the stickers. I gave him high-fives and tickled him. He laughed and it was fun. Mary translated for me and we found out from him that his stomach hurt. He said he lived with his dad, but his dad wasn't there. He thought his father would come tomorrow, but at the discussion of this the boy started to cry. Mary told him that Jesus would be with him. He started to cry more... MY HEART BROKE COMPLETELY NOW... I wanted to cry so bad with him. To pick him up from his scratchy-gray-institute-blankets and hold him... but God actually helped me hold it together. I was so thankful that I was was able to get him to smile again by being silly. I gave him and his neighbor sheets of stickers and we left. The hardest part was leaving. Leaving and knowing that they'd been left before, knowing that there really wasn't much we could do for them at the moment. I was an emotional wreck and as we got back to the hotel room, I laid on my bed and had a very emotional cry.

I wonder what God sees when He knows these children are hurting- they are His children and this world is not fair to them. I do know that He is intimately aware of everything on their hearts.
Psalm 56:8
⁸ You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.

As painful as it was for me to see these children and so many others we met in Africa, I know it is painful for God. We often ask God to give us His heart, to break our hearts for what breaks His... this is what this hospital visit did for me. His love extends to much greater lengths than ours ever could. I don't want any child to ever go through life not feeling loved, that's my personal agenda. I have a very strong feeling that this is God's heart too...

Will you help me get to Africa so I can be His arms to all the orphaned children He puts in my path? Please, please consider partnering with me monthly so I can be there by August! bethanneyoung@gmail.com

Fresh Start: 21 Day Blog Challenge

Catching you up:
My heart and mind are so on Africa right now. God's been stirring me up to make a bigger push toward this calling. I've been struggling with time management though in pursuing these stirrings. You see, even though I've been teaching for 10 years, this is probably my hardest year yet. This is my first year in the primary first grade. Let me tell you that first grade is drastically different from the third and fourth grade classes I've taught for the last decade. Teaching already is a time monopolizer, but with so many changes and a huge learning curve, it has been even more demanding. With that noted, little time is left to relax or pursue other passions like Africa. Currently I am praying that God would open up avenues of time and increase my time management so that I can devote much more of my time to my Africa dream pursuit. I'm also asking Him what I should be learning from this balancing struggle that He has given me...

Don't be confused though, my Africa preparation isn't on hold- I just wish I could devote MORE time to it, God is still pushing me, growing me, stretching me, changing me, and financially providing! WOO HOO- keep praying for all of that to continue, please!

One great things that God has placed before me recently is to step down from some church responsibilities to create space in my time to take a 15-week college level course on Missions created by the U.S. Center for World Missions and being held at a different church called Christian Family Chapel. This course, called Perspectives, is reshaping how I see missions and God's heart for missions. Above all else, God desires that His glory and name would be spread to ALL the nations and that is what missions is all about- making God famous, taking my little candle of God's glory that I carry with me and spreading it to one more and one more and one more...
This class has an intense amount of in-depth articles by theologians and each week we have a different speaker somehow involved with missions! One of the coolest things about this opportunity is to be around other missionaries and missions-minded individuals! It just fires me up to talk to them and just be around them EVERY week!! It is also cool to witness at Christian Family Chapel, how I feel, God intended the church to fully support their missionaries- financially, spiritually, and publicly.

Currently:
I've recently decided to revisit some of my old journals, particularly the ones from my trips to Swaziland. My hope is to reconnect with my love for Swaziland, but also to see the journey from a different perspective- looking back! How often do you do that? Stop and look back at where God has taken you? I love doing it, it changes your perspective. You begin to feel stronger, you build confidence in Him by seeing- "Ohhhhh, (high-pitched light bulb "oh") God you really were there and you really do have a big picture at work here..." and it excites you for the future!!! What is God going to do now, what's next????

The fresh start:
I am challenging myself to blog for 21 days straight and share with anyone who wants to hear tidbits from those journals and about my current experiences as a fundraising-soon-to-be-full-time-missionary. I guess I picked 21 days because that is a nice round "church number"- you know, with the 21 day fast... but this is actually like a fast because I promise you- between work and a college-level class- I will have to make sacrifices to connect with God and you through this blog every day. I might fall short, but I'm promising to do my best.

So, I hope you will join me and follow me as I look back, examine now, and dream for the future!

Africa or bust!! <3

Fully Pursuaded

I'm writing, because I want to. Not because I know what I want to say...

I was reminded of an awesome verse today, Romans 4:18-21 (above). I am definitely in a new season as of very recently, a season of believing, really believing, taking God at His word, asking, and trusting. Even if there is no hope to be seen, let me be fully persuaded, and not waiver because of the "facts." God's truth outweighs the facts of life EVERY time! This is also a season of fine-tuning me. A big part of that is changing my path some- where I invest my time and energy- and becoming more disciplined in all I do.

I feel ready, ready for Africa, ready for God to use me for His glory in a scope beyond my imagination. I feel called to bring peace and restoration through His Spirit, emotional healing, hope. I can't explain it, but I know that God wants me to be a vessel that shines His glory around and spread it like wildfire and I know that He wants to do it in a great and ridiculous way. This boxed in life, isn't going to cut it. The cookie-cut view of the world and His power, isn't going to work either. All around me, most all of us, underestimate God because we don't fully believe and we don't intimately know the Holy Spirit. I don't want to be normal, I want to make God gasp with pride, tear with joy, melt with love for me. I know I will as I am FULLY obedient to all He has dreamed for me. Yes, God has a dream for me. He formed it when He knit me together in my mother's womb. (Ps 139:13) (He has one for you too, ask Him about it!)

So, believing... I'm believing right now for $37,458 to be EXACT! That is how much I need (all that's left) to be fully funded for two full years in Swaziland. I decided to stop beating around the bush and ask specifically. Will you ask Him with me? I'm believing God that He has called me, He is the way maker, He will pay the bill... why? because He is a missionary God, seeking for the knowledge of His glory to be spread throughout the world and He is looking for someone to send- I've told Him that He can send me... I've planted seeds for sponsorship and I'm believing they will produce. Other than that I'm done giving God ideas, I've simply asked Him to open Heaven and send to me that which He has already promised me... Who is He that He should lie or change His mind? (1Sam 15:29) He also promises not to make me look like a fool. (Whew!) So, I'm praying for provision and direction, if there are things He wants me to do to seek that provision...

I'm also believing that He will do a miraculous work and I could be there by August! Yes, I'm saying it out loud. Will you pray for timing with me? I can't go until I have my funding... believing, faith, trust...

I don't know if faith is supposed to be easy, but it isn't for me. I've grown up so logical and full of fear. But, all I can do with a dream so big is to lean not on my own understanding but trust in Him. (Proberbs 3:5) Even if I'm at a 48% stalemate, even if I know of 3 missionaries who started after me getting to step on Africa soil before me, even if I have no clue what my next steps should be and I feel like I've run into brick walls, even if rationally raising $66,000 in our crazy US economy and being a missionary is absolutely illogical... I am gonna believe with ALL my heart! If God is for me, who can be against me? (Rom 8:31)

In closing, I'm loving learning about the different Hebrew names of God. One that I have clung to lately is El Chay. El Chay is our living God. God hears, speaks, and acts! You see in the past few months, God has spoken a lot to me. So much teaching and knowledge of who He is, who I am... it has been so personal and so amazing. I also want to give you a glimpse into how I know He hears me... I was driving home the other night and I really wanted to see a deer on the side of 95. I know it is silly, but it is just a cool thing to me, call me cheesy... I was hoping to see one and looking very hard, well I wasn't seeing one... I mean how many times in 10yrs had I driven around Jax and not seen a deer, its not like they are common! LOL Then I realized I hadn't prayed... so I did, asking to see a deer as a reminder that He is with me and I'm on the right path, and... not 5 seconds later I saw a deer on the side of the road who stopped eating and looked right at me. It is etched in my mind, even thought this isn't the first time God has humored me with a deer sighting (It is actually the 10th :) He once again reminded me that He, El Chay, The Living God, is present- is listening- is speaking- and when it is right, He WILL act.

Are you with me?
Let's believe in a God who acts, that His glory will fill the Earth, especially in Africa!

The Mission Field is Where You are NOW...

Yesterday was such a great day! Why? Well, our 20's and 30's team joined up with Metro Kids at the Cleveland Arms apt. complex in downtown Jax to throw down an awesome outreach! There were games, crafts, hot dogs, Easter eggs, and even some labor in their new building! It was great to see our group really taking ownership of God's call on each of our lives to serve! It's way cool to see peers of mine serve as the hands and feet of Christ for the first time in their lives! I'm sure it's in their blood now! heehee It also makes me feel super blessed thinking back to all the opportunities I've had to serve God through outreach and missions since middle school. Isn't it such an honor that God uses US to do His work? So cool and such a good high!!!!

Being in the inner city yesterday reminded me a lot of Africa... right here in Jacksonville there are also so many children living in poverty with no father in sight, learning to survive the best way they can. Maybe God's not calling you to love on the children a continent away like He is me, but maybe, just maybe He wants you to do the same exact work... but just across town??? Think about it, pray about it... The Word of God says "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

This is IT!!

Today I just finished my second fundraising newsletter. My hope is that this letter will bring my mission plans to the rememberence of my friends and church family. I think of the Swazi people and the Children's Cup staff often and look forward to the time that I am on the field with them .

I've found myself in an obvious waiting period. God has definately called me to Africa and soon too..., but I find myself waiting on His perfect timing for the fundraising to take shape. I've sent out close to 200 letters, but with very little response. That is why I am sending out this second letter. I'd really like to be going to Africa come September, which means I need to have my fundraising by July... yep, only a month and a half away! Even with my 'general' plan, I know that I can fully trust God's timing and also trust that He will show up in his triumphant last-minute style! :)
What keeps me going is the excitement for the testimony I will have to share with everyone I meet about how God poured out 'manna' from Heaven for me to go on this trip! A testimony about how He provided for over $54,000 in less than 9 months and in a very trying recession!!! WooHoo! If you are reading this, get excited- because you are going to see God move with me! :)

I find myself saying "God, this is it! This is really IT!! You've REALLY called me, ME!! Thank you, Jesus!" What an honor!
I'm mezmorized by the reality of this calling on my little 'ole self:

• every time I get a check in the mail- either $1,000 or $25.00!,
• when I went to Baton Rouge to visit the Ohlerkings (founders of Children's Cup),
• when I chatted with Ben Rodgers in Africa,
• or got included in an email about education planning over there,
• when I'm worshiping and praying and visions pop in my head of me dancing in Swaziland and almost audibly hearing the voice of God and His love for me,
• or I found out I am being given a brand new laptop to take with me,
• or that my friend has a plan for me to have a local phone number while I'm over there (and he'll pay for it! what a blessing),
• or met with Pastor Branker at Celebration and got his blessings and the church's for this mission,
• when a friend with the gift of visions tells me that on more than one occasion she has SEEN me in Africa,
• when the Word of God comes to life in my heart with revelation about God's plan for me there,
• when I had a phone conversation with Christy Merrill- recent missionary with CC- and she tells me I can borrow her faith when I need it,
• or when my ladies pray over me at prayer night full of fire and Holy Spirit power,
• when I'm encouraged by those around me to keep pressing on because they believe with me,
• or anytime a number of people have praised my fundraising letter efforts
• or told me how proud of me they are for stepping out in this adventure! :)

"God, this is IT!! We're really doing it!"