Fully Pursuaded

I'm writing, because I want to. Not because I know what I want to say...

I was reminded of an awesome verse today, Romans 4:18-21 (above). I am definitely in a new season as of very recently, a season of believing, really believing, taking God at His word, asking, and trusting. Even if there is no hope to be seen, let me be fully persuaded, and not waiver because of the "facts." God's truth outweighs the facts of life EVERY time! This is also a season of fine-tuning me. A big part of that is changing my path some- where I invest my time and energy- and becoming more disciplined in all I do.

I feel ready, ready for Africa, ready for God to use me for His glory in a scope beyond my imagination. I feel called to bring peace and restoration through His Spirit, emotional healing, hope. I can't explain it, but I know that God wants me to be a vessel that shines His glory around and spread it like wildfire and I know that He wants to do it in a great and ridiculous way. This boxed in life, isn't going to cut it. The cookie-cut view of the world and His power, isn't going to work either. All around me, most all of us, underestimate God because we don't fully believe and we don't intimately know the Holy Spirit. I don't want to be normal, I want to make God gasp with pride, tear with joy, melt with love for me. I know I will as I am FULLY obedient to all He has dreamed for me. Yes, God has a dream for me. He formed it when He knit me together in my mother's womb. (Ps 139:13) (He has one for you too, ask Him about it!)

So, believing... I'm believing right now for $37,458 to be EXACT! That is how much I need (all that's left) to be fully funded for two full years in Swaziland. I decided to stop beating around the bush and ask specifically. Will you ask Him with me? I'm believing God that He has called me, He is the way maker, He will pay the bill... why? because He is a missionary God, seeking for the knowledge of His glory to be spread throughout the world and He is looking for someone to send- I've told Him that He can send me... I've planted seeds for sponsorship and I'm believing they will produce. Other than that I'm done giving God ideas, I've simply asked Him to open Heaven and send to me that which He has already promised me... Who is He that He should lie or change His mind? (1Sam 15:29) He also promises not to make me look like a fool. (Whew!) So, I'm praying for provision and direction, if there are things He wants me to do to seek that provision...

I'm also believing that He will do a miraculous work and I could be there by August! Yes, I'm saying it out loud. Will you pray for timing with me? I can't go until I have my funding... believing, faith, trust...

I don't know if faith is supposed to be easy, but it isn't for me. I've grown up so logical and full of fear. But, all I can do with a dream so big is to lean not on my own understanding but trust in Him. (Proberbs 3:5) Even if I'm at a 48% stalemate, even if I know of 3 missionaries who started after me getting to step on Africa soil before me, even if I have no clue what my next steps should be and I feel like I've run into brick walls, even if rationally raising $66,000 in our crazy US economy and being a missionary is absolutely illogical... I am gonna believe with ALL my heart! If God is for me, who can be against me? (Rom 8:31)

In closing, I'm loving learning about the different Hebrew names of God. One that I have clung to lately is El Chay. El Chay is our living God. God hears, speaks, and acts! You see in the past few months, God has spoken a lot to me. So much teaching and knowledge of who He is, who I am... it has been so personal and so amazing. I also want to give you a glimpse into how I know He hears me... I was driving home the other night and I really wanted to see a deer on the side of 95. I know it is silly, but it is just a cool thing to me, call me cheesy... I was hoping to see one and looking very hard, well I wasn't seeing one... I mean how many times in 10yrs had I driven around Jax and not seen a deer, its not like they are common! LOL Then I realized I hadn't prayed... so I did, asking to see a deer as a reminder that He is with me and I'm on the right path, and... not 5 seconds later I saw a deer on the side of the road who stopped eating and looked right at me. It is etched in my mind, even thought this isn't the first time God has humored me with a deer sighting (It is actually the 10th :) He once again reminded me that He, El Chay, The Living God, is present- is listening- is speaking- and when it is right, He WILL act.

Are you with me?
Let's believe in a God who acts, that His glory will fill the Earth, especially in Africa!