Just Let Go...

All I wanna do is lose myself in You
Lean back in Your arms and just let go now...

These are some words from this new song I love. It expresses exactly how I feel these days when things seem unclear and others are starting to bear down on me. My natural response to be anxious... I'm prone to anxiety and have even take much needed medication for it. Yet, I've been going without it for almost 8 months now...

But I feel the pressures:

The pressures of a call to Africa to KNOW when I'm going to Africa, how it will be paid for, where my cats will live, does anyone else even care that I'm called, where is my place in Children's Cup, what I'm supposed to be DOing right now to make it happen....

The pressures of a new school year... I can't say I really wanted to come back; I hoped and prayed God would take me to Africa now... but it looks like it won't be till next summer... so there are school pressures: to get my classroom beautiful and organized, learning to work with a new teaching partner (after seperating from the one I've had for 5 years!!! and the only person I really talk to at work!!), pumping myself up about the academics- trying to find motivation bc I feel REALLY overwhelmend- that "I don't know where to start!!" mentality...

Then there are the pressures of relationships... I see God has placed some unique friendships in my life during this season... some to minister to me, others for me to minister to, and some are so unique and special to me I'm trying to figure them out.... people are confusing and mix those with emotions... sometimes it is a crazy mess... but often worth it some way! :)

So, back to the song... I want to just fall back into God' arms and let HIS will be done, let HIM do the work that needs to be done and the hearts that need to be touched... I just want to be enveloped by HIS love and his omni-everything... b/c HE is more than able to take care of me and lead me ALL the way into my dreams that HE has beautifully placed on my heart. <3